A week of weddings part 2

So I managed to entirely miss the Royal Wedding, although a group of the UK students did manage to find a TV to watch it on and the lovely Indian lady hosting them even provided tea and biscuits, very British indeed. I must admit I am not too heartbroken at missing the full coverage. I have seen a few photos and that is enough for even the most girly and wedding obsessed sides of my personality. Yes she looked lovely on her wedding day but when it comes down to it most women do look pretty nice on the day of that particular life event.

The wedding that I did experience in full glory on Wednesday however was a slightly different affair (although needless to say the bride looked very lovely indeed). The event I am referring to was the tribal wedding of one of our wonderful nursing staff, which I was lucky enough to attend.

The difference in the style of wedding was quite marked from the outset, starting with my invitation. No gold lettering on embossed ivory card, I was invited in a much simpler and arguably more personal way. Sat here at the desk upstairs in the hospital last week I looked up from whatever work I was doing on my computer to see two of the nurses standing in front of me. The nurse who spoke the better English pointed at her friend and said “Alice Doctor, next week she is getting married. You are coming” this was certainly not a question, more of a statement.

True to this statement I did attend her wedding and I am really glad that I did. I was not the only westerner in attendance with all of the medical students, the girl volunteering at the school and a Dutch social work student here on holiday all joining in. We piled into a big hire car and made the journey early in the morning to the bride’s village. The wedding ceremony was not a traditional tribal one as we might have expected but actually a variation on the Hindu wedding. Short and sweet the whole thing was over quite early. There was just some blessings, the tying of a thread loosely around the brides neck, a chance for us all to throw a small palmful of blessed rice at the couple and then the main event with the bridegroom leading his bride three times around the fire in the full view of the community. Short as it was it was really rather lovely and the bride looked amazing in her red sari and copious jasmine flowers woven through her hair.

After the ceremony itself there was a selection of tribal dances performed for us guests. Every song in their culture has a different dance with unique dance steps performed in a circle around a ceremonial lamp. The music is provided by the clacking sound of the lengths of wood which they hold in each hand and hit together to produce a rhythm. There is something about it which I must admit made me think of Morris dancers at an English fete. Although to be honest they looked like they were having a lot more fun than the average Morris dancer. Each dance seemed to start slowly then gather more and more pace and enthusiasm, finishing with the dancers giving a final cry of joy and then standing sweaty and beaming proudly in front of the audience.

When the dancers had been persuaded that we might have had enough and every one was getting hungry tables were brought out and set in rows in the wedding tent. Always enthusiastic when it comes to food I grabbed a chair next to my friends and was fed in the first sitting. I was quite glad that I had had previous experience with south Indian Thali and therefore didn’t find eating in front of the crowd without any cutlery too daunting. First came the banana leaf, an ideal disposable plate being easily available and fully compostable, then a man with boiled water for you to wash your banana leaf and your right hand. Once you were satisfied with the cleanliness of both leaf and hand the men came around with serving dishes. A small scoop of salt and one of chilli powder in case you thought the food too bland (which in my opinion it was not and at the end of my meal the only thing remaining on the leaf was said small piles of seasoning) this was the first thing to arrive. Then poppadom, chutney, lime pickle, veg curry, samba, chickpea curry, a large pile of rice (always a major staple in the South Indian Veg Meals) curd and a banana. It was amazing. And just when I thought it couldn’t get better they brought round the payasam, a truly delicious south Indian desert which is a close relative of the rice pudding. Totally full and very happy we cleared off to leave space for the next sitting of guests, there were a lot of guests! The wedding feast felt something akin to the feeding of the five thousand but with curry not loaves and fishes.

On reflection this was one of the most genuinely lovely celebrations I have been to. So welcoming and relaxed. I think that this is what a wedding should be, in fact both of the Indian weddings I have been to although very different in many ways have a deep rooted similarity in their inclusiveness, a celebration of two families and their communities.

Anyway on that note, in the spirit of love and celebration I will leave you for now. I promise to be in touch again soon. Love.

A x

Walking the circle around the fire

Tribal dancers